Never been lost before. 
Always knew where I belonged and who I belonged to. 
But I feel lost today. 
I don’t know where I belong. 
In the place I always knew with the people that turned their backs when I wanted them most. 
In the place where I wanted to build a home and I destroyed it as I went, chipping away at any piece of love I could grasp. 
In no place with no people and just silence. In a place where no one knows my name and no one wants to. 
Which makes more sense. My heart says one thing, my brain another and my emotions a third. 
One pushes me towards him the one I want and the one I need. 
One pushed to the backs that are turned against me. 
The other pushed to find my own way and to suffer in the process because some lessons in life are better experienced then told. 
Torn three ways but not torn at all. 
Because when the smoke clears and the dust settles I always wanna be with the one who shines the brightest. 
I never wanted this to happen and I never wanted it to go but I don’t seem to have a choice. I want to love you until the day I die. I will love you until my dying breathe. You will love me all the same but my actions have brought you pain. I don’t blame you for wanting to get away I would too and faster than you. 
I wasn’t a good girlfriend I wasn’t even a good friend. I am just lost